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Does what it says on the screen

A look into how social media has fulfilled its objective of connecting people at any time and any place. Amelia Canty speaks to Mae Taurine who accredits social media as the saviour of her childhood.


Years and years worth of studies of mammals have shown us that, from the smallest rodent all the way to us humans, we all suffer greatly when our relationships are threatened. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, we all have an instinctual desire to connect with people.

Scientist Mathew Lieberman frequently refers to this notion of desire in his work. He explained: “The things that cause us to feel pain are things that are evolutionary recognised as threats to our survival. The existence of social pain is a sign that evolution has treated social connection like a necessity, not a luxury.” I’m sure you’ve heard someone describe themselves as heart-broken before - social pain is real pain.

The evolution of social media has fundamentally changed the way society interacts and most importantly, how we communicate. It has become a hub of connectivity for people across the globe, superseding any geographical barriers. Although for some, it’s more of a lifeline.

In the same way many of us have our home comforts, social media has become a virtual home where some people go to seek serenity. It gathers people from sub-sections of society where they feel they most belong in one place, without the difficulty of finding them or travelling to them. Through its constant accessibility, community groups and instantaneousness, it has the potential to give someone suffering the power to take control of their own narrative.

Mae Taurine epitomises the benefits social media can have on young people suffering with relationships. Growing up, Mae didn’t have a good time in high school, describing themselves as “the classic emo, angry at everyone in the world”.

One day, a friend introduced her to cosplay - the practice of dressing up as your favourite character from popular culture. Mae only attended one or two conventions a year, but social media allowed them to prolong the feeling of belonging they had at conventions by allowing connections they created there, to exist in the virtual world. They said: “Some of them I haven’t seen since the first time I met them. But because I have kept in touch online with them, they’re still some of my dearest closest friends.”

Not only did social media nurture these relationships Mae had but, through joining Facebook groups such as the UK Cosplay Community Group, they were blanketed by a 24 hour support network and a chance to delve further into the community they most identified with without judgment, aiding their personal development.

“It sounds horrible but when you're in school, and you can tell that everyone around you just can't stand you. Or you can tell that they think you're boring or weird. And then you find people who are just as ‘weird’ as you, it feels like starting your life. It’s like taking a deep breath, feeling all of

the air come into your lungs and breathing it out. It just feels so natural and normal.” Mae smiled and exclaimed, “You feel human.”

Homophily is the sociological concept that human beings have a basic need to be accepted as a member of a group, be it in relation to their values, interests or sexuality. Psychologist Aaron Ben- Zeév claimed: “Humans don’t just need to belong to a group. They need continued, frequent positive interaction with like-minded individuals.”

Social media platforms have facilitated this concept, allowing human beings to fulfil their natural instincts on a level beyond possible in the real world. Despite this phenomena, like anything it has its limits. Even those who it has served the most useful, can recognise the pitfalls of feeling a sense of virtual belonging.

Mae had a dry smile when they said, “It's a bit of a double edged sword. The relationships I had on there were very valuable for me, but it definitely did impact the way I socialise. Before I came to university, I didn't really talk to anyone in person. I was very, very, shy. After having those offline experiences, it made me realise that I am a lot more talkative and outgoing than I thought I was. I think you do need a mix of both.”

Founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, told NBC’s “The Today Show” in 2006 that he started Facebook because he “just figured it would be really cool if there was some website that I could go to that would tell me a bunch of information about my friends and the people around me”. 16 years later, Zuckerberg’s initial curiosities have transcended into a social phenomenon, enabling every single person with access to internet to connect with each other, build communities and bring the world a little closer together.